Monday, January 28, 2013

I Miss My Mama

By Denise McCray

Let me apologize in advance for this downer of a post, but my mama has been on my mind. She passed away on December 6, 2012 and had been ill for several months. I’m the oldest child and only girl in the family. I’m not ashamed to say my mama was my BFF, and even during my turbulent teen years, I could always count on her to have my back.

Mama supported me no matter what I wanted to do. As a child, I was the shyest person around, speaking only when spoken to, and then so quietly I had to repeat what I said several times. I hated to talk. I’d rather spend my time reading and daydreaming. So when I announced I wanted to become an attorney, others laughed and wondered out loud who would want to hire someone who hated to talk. But Mama believed in me and was able to say “I told you so” to a lot of people when I opened my own firm.

My mama was not a techie, no matter how hard I tried to bring her into the twenty-first century. I gave her a nearly new netbook which she promptly turned over to my younger brother. Her cellphone was a bare-bones model, and she had trouble operating it too. I tell you this to say she never read one of my published stories, but she still bragged on me like crazy. She was my biggest supporter.

I’ll always love you, Mama. I miss you.


Is your mom or another woman special in your life? Leave a comment and one commenter will win a copy of their choice of one of Denise's books from Decadent Publishing!


Kate Richards said...

I'm so sorry for your loss, Denise. I'm sure she's still bragging and lending support just from a higher vantage point.

Jessica E. Subject said...

I have a very similar relationship with my mother. *Hugs* As Kate said, I'm sure she's still telling everyone she meets about you.

Stephanie Williams said...

My condolences Denise. It’s so wonderful that you had that relationship with your mom. And you still do. I’m fortunate that I still have my mom, but I lost my grandmother some time ago. That hurt so bad.

But when I’m in a sticky situation or need to make a decision on something I still go to her. I ask myself, “What would grandmother do, or what would she say?”

Our mothers are always are biggest fans when others around us have doubts.

Barbara Elsborg said...

So sorry for your loss. When you were so close to her, you must miss her terribly. I wasn't very close to my mum. She just wasn't 'the type'. I've learned from that how to be a better mother to my daughter though and we speak every day on the phone or on skype.

Starla Kaye said...

I'm sorry for your loss and have been through it myself. In my situation, my mother and I were only fairly close...but I still miss her.

It's my BFF relationship with my daughter that your comments reminded me of. She is so very special in my life.

Cate Masters said...

Your post made me teary, Denise! I lost my mom just before Christmas ten years ago, and until the last year or so couldn't really get into the holiday spirit.
I'm sure she's looking over you and is still bragging! *hugs*

Valerie Mann said...

My mom has always stood by me, even when she thought I was making a big mistake. And always support me when I have a goal. She called me about 20 years ago and said, "I know what you're going to do with your life! Write a book!" Because being a mother of five just wasn't enough, LOL. I blew her off.

Funny how that prophecy came true though! And my grandmother was a different, but just as important, woman in my life. She was the one I shared domestic hobbies, sewing, needlework, baking. I desperately miss her, but she visits me in my dreams all the time, so I know she's very near.

D L Jackson said...

So sorry to hear of your loss. My mother is my biggest fan. She's been there when things are good and especially when they were not so good. I feel blessed to have her in my life, as you have been to have such a strong woman in your life.

Krista said...

Denise so sorry to hear of your loss. I'm right along with everyone else that my mom is my biggest fan and my best friend and would be lost without her. I am proud to say though that I have a teenage daughter and we are developing the same relationship that I have with my mother. She tells all her friends at school that her mom is her best friend and we talk about everything under the sun. I couldn't be any luckier :) Have a great mom and a great daughter.

Prayers are with you Denise :)

Denise McCray said...

Thank you all for your kind words. I know she'll always be in my corner, cheering me on.



Alexa said...

So sorry for your loss. My mom is one of my best friends too and I can't imagine how difficult it will be when I lose her. BUT, how lucky are we that our moms have been so important in our adult lives as well as our childhoods? Take comfort in knowing the bond you shared with her is still pretty rare.

Just Natalie said...

I love my Mom and can't imagine her gone :( I'm so sorry you lost yours. Growing up we didn't always get along. She was a single mom raising my brother and me,and we didn't always make it easy for her, but in the end she is my go to person.

Unknown said...

I'm so, so sorry for your loss. I lost my Mama on April 18, 2012. There's nothing quite like that pain, and I'm sorry you're going through it. She's always in your heart, and I'm sure still bursting with pride over your accomplishments. *sending lots of hugs and support your way*

Dena Celeste

SheriV said...

I'm so sorry for you loss. My mom is technically my step mom but the fact that she is my best friend without blood prompting her is pretty amazing. I love her and can talk to her about anything. She also raised my sister and I as a single mom for a long time.

*hugs* Hope you feel a bit better as time goes on.