Robert Roman's Three Way

Thursday, that is...

So I'm here for Three Way Thursday.  As you all know, it's not as naughty as it sounds.  Of course, I'm the one writing it, so it might wind up that way.  Then again, it might wind up accidentally summoning a shoggoth.  The fun never stops!

At any rate, I'm going to start out with what I'm thankful for.  I've got plenty, really.  But the big thing I'm thankful for is Family. 

My kids think daddy being a writer is cool.  My older boy even made a little 'book'.  Of course, this was nearly a year ago, and he hadn't learned to write yet, so it's a collection of pages covered in scribble lines, but the idea is there. 

My parents and sister, who I never thought would enjoy the kinds of things I write (or read), have been nothing but supportive.  The best line I've heard so far was from my (notably homophobic) father; when my stepmother said "I think the pixies are… gay" he replied with, "Well, they are fairies".

Best of all is the Ur-Goth, my lovely wife.  She feeds me, she takes care of me when I'm sick, she even manages my schedule for me, all so I can get just a few more minutes writing each day.  Without her, there wouldn't be any new books written or edited or anything except during the holidays, and I don't write fast enough to get more than one or two a year done that way.

Moving on to things that make me Thoughtful, lately I've had to deal a lot with people who are concerned with appearances.  Whether it's about clothing, grades, or classroom walls, I hear a lot about how one person or group looks good and another looks bad.  I hear even more about how one person can make another look bad.

Now, in general I'm a pragmatist.  If it gets the job done, I'm for it.  Edison's quote, 'There are no rules, we're trying to accomplish something here' is dear to my heart.  However, lately I've been talking with a lot of people who focus exclusively on appearance, and I've been trying to see the world from their perspective.

When I first started teaching at Woodrow Wilson, I wore a suit.  Every.  Single.  Day.  As I only had the one, this ate into my budget something fierce.  However, even unruly students tended to back down when I focused on them.  Eventually, my poor suit pants bit the dust.  I am, apparently, hard on certain areas of pants.  Those areas invariably wear through before anything else.  As a ratty suit looks considerably worse than a nice set of business casual wear, and the holes were in places that are, shall we say, unsuitable for public viewing.  When I switched over to slacks, oxford, and tie, however, the students stopped listening as intently.

Layer something else onto this.  When someone in a suit steps into the room, the students quiet down.  When someone in any other type of clothing comes in the room, they keep up the disrespect.  There is an ingrained response, even in rowdy inner city kids, that suits mean authority.  With that in mind, and realizing my big challenge this year was managing unruly students, I have to give the 'appearance' thing another thought.

Of course, I'm still basing the final outcome on whether it helps the bottom line, but I'm no longer putting 'appearance is important' on the list of things that will make me write someone off as hopeless.

Finally we're at the last.  What am I thirsty for?  I could answer in the obvious way, I've had quite a few nice adult beverages over the past few weeks.  Gin Sours always go down a treat, and Bombay Sapphire is nice and reliable for the 'gin' part.  I recently had some nice bourbon with the most unusual (but not unpleasant) aftertaste.  Wild Turkey Rare Breed, in case you're wondering.  Finally, the other night when I was having trouble sleeping, I pulled out an old concoction made by a friend.  Previously, she and I referred to it as 'krimpka'.  It managed to horribly defile my fond childhood memories of Tastycake Butterscotch Krimpets, and every name I've come up with for it is as vile as it is.  It is also fantastically alcoholic, and despite the horror it visited on my tongue, I actually would try it again were I in the mood to get very drunk very fast.   It was 'so bad it's good' liquor, in butterscotch flavor.  If I can find someone to knock together some label art, I think I might see if Jules wants to get into the boutique liquor business.  The liquor stores can stock it next to "Arrogant Bastard Ale"

That's it, then, really.  I would take a drink of any of them at the drop of a hat, and thattells me what I'm really thirsty for.  Variety.  After ten months of the same thing day after day, I'm about ready for a change.

Good thing I'm about ready to close up the classroom for the summer and write, no?

Robert Roman's Baker's Dozen

Hallo out there!  I’m here to tell you all about myself.  Well, not really.  As Chris said to the Horsecow when he asked ‘What is *wrong* with me?’  I don’t have the time.  However, I do have the time to answer an even baker’s dozen of questions, because I’m a terrible, terrible man who can’t follow instructions.  I couldn’t pour piss out of a boot if the how-to was written on the heel.

I suppose I ought to tell you at least a *tiny* bit about myself, right?  My name is Robert C Roman, and I write Weird Fiction, which is a mix of Sci Fi and Horror, and Slipstream, which is a mix of Sci Fi and Fantasy, and Romantic Action Comedy, which is where the John and Joan Cusack live.  I’ve said it before, I’ll say it again, and someday I’ll remember that it’s not witty the second time you say it, I write them *all at the same time*.  On to the questions!

What was your first sale as an author?
My first sale as an author was a Paranormal Romantic Comedy Novella entitled Fae Eye for the Golem Guy.  It’s a fun little story about a straight laced Golem who falls in love with a wild child Sidhe.  For those of you who’ve read it, yes, it was almost as much fun to write as it is to read.

Tell us about your next release.
My next release is the Paranormal Romance What Not to Fear.  It's the sequel to Fae Eye for the Golem Guy, and it's my first full length novel to be published!

What is your favorite color?
Some uncharitable sorts will question my right to a guy card, but I don't see how anyone can have a favorite color.  Any color is going to look terrible when placed next to colors neither complementary nor contrasting.  Instead, I have a favorite color *scheme*.  That scheme being black, dusty rose pink, and gold.  I was married in a surcoat with those colors.

Does your significant other read your stuff?
Thus far only as a Beta reader, which means she never actually sees the finished product.  I think she's said her favorite so far is What Not to Fear.  For some reason, though, she tends to not like my heroines.

Do you have critique partners or beta readers?
Sweet merciful Jesus yes.  I do not blaspheme; good beta readers are a gift from God on high, proof that there is a kind and loving God.  Of course, some people say my sense of humor disproves that, but I think that just means he's got a wicked sense of humor.

What do you think makes a good story?
Emotional investment.  Any story where you can't avoid emotionally investment in the characters is a good one.  Of course, making a story make an irresistible demand for emotional investment from the reader requires characterization, dialogue, plot, pacing, and occasional snippets of prose to die for.  Or just overuse the tearjerker tropes, but that's cheating.

What book are you reading now?
I'm presently reading The Wise Man's Fear by Patrick Rothfuss.  Specifically, I'm reading the copy he signed for me at RT.  Random strangers have gone 'ooh!' at the sig.

Have you attended a high school reunion? Yes, my 20^th.  What did you learn?
That everyone recognizes my face after 20 years, but no one recognizes me because I don't reek of nerd.  Seriously, I had one person say "Bob?  No, you can't be Bob Roman, Bob Roman is a geek!"

Morning Person? Or Night Person?
Night Person.  VERY Night Person.
How do you know?
When I've been on long breaks from work and my schedule drifted to 'whenever my body wanted to sleep' I slept from 8 AM to 12 Noon every day.

Is there a writer you idolize?   Oh, no.  Not at all.  (YES!)  If so who?
Pratchett! Pratchett! Pratchett! Pratchett! Pratchett! Pratchett! Pratchett!

What is the next big thing?
The Next Big Thing is going to be the release of my first full length novel, but shortly thereafter (I hope!) will be the release of my first print book.  I've set my own conditions for 'winning' at the game of life.  One of them is seeing my name on the spine of a book in a brick and mortar bookstore.  Another is seeing someone cosplay as one of my characters.  Hint hint!

What question do you wish was on the list?
I'm a fan of the old school Purity Test and similar things, so I'd have to go with 'What's the most private thing you're willing to admit, here and now?' Your answer?
From now on, whenever someone dies, the words " You have all the weapons you need…now fight!" are going to be in my head.
What?  You didn't say our answers have to make sense without a LONG    explanation.

Do you have anything specific that you want to say to your readers?
Yes!  I want to thank each and every person who has read one of my books!  Any time I realize someone would actually pay to read one of my books I feel like I can fly.  Any time someone actually takes the time to *say* they liked one of my books?
Whoa.  Such a rush.  Only way I can describe it.

Well, that's it!  A baker's dozen from the guy who can't seem to follow rules or color in the lines.  Keep your eyes open, I'm back to writing, and summer is coming soon, with those long ten-thousand-words-of-new-fiction days.  See you then!

Fae Eye for the Golem Guy Playlist

by Robert Roman

OK, guys.  Sometimes I’m not sure why certain songs make me think of certain characters, but I’ve tried to put together something for What Not To Fear, the sequel to Fae Eye for the Golem Guy, which will be out soon!

Michaela –
Immortals - “Go, Go, Go”, because she is a hyperkinetic heroine.
Immortals - “Eternal Life”, because she isn’t afraid to die
Nine Inch Nails - “Closer to God”, for her doubts and her desires
Tori Amos - “God”, same reasons
And last but not least Alabama 3 “Too Sick to Pray”, because it fits

Matt –
Adventures of Superman, “Introduction”, for obvious reasons
And again with the Alabama 3, “2129”, cause I can see him singing this to Michaela

Belle –

Rob Zombie - “Sinners Inc.” and “Transylvanian Transmission”, because Belle is disturbing, at best

Teresa –
Madonna - “Material Girl”, cause she is
Secret of Kells, “Pangur Ban / Aisling’s Song”, because she’s pretty, and spooky, and occasionally possessed

Ophilia –
Bjork - “Of Human Behavior” and “Violently Happy”, because Ophilia’s madness is a happy shiny kind of madness
Pink – “Stupid Girls”, because Phil can’t stand ‘em either.

Micah – Mike Posner - “Cooler Than Me”, ‘cause it expresses the way he feels about Phil sometimes

Sammie – Oxide & Neutrino, “Devil’s Nightmare” ‘cause it’s hard to tell if he’s evil or good, but he IS pretty cool

X – Eminem- “Not Afraid”, ‘cause the X ain’t afraid of nothin’

Ricardo - Billy Crystal - “You Look Marvelous”, because in Ricardo’s world, it’s not how you look, it’s how you feel, and darling, you look marvelous!

On a very related and super secret note, rumor has it a certain person is working on a song inspired by What Not to Fear.   With that in mind, it’s impromptu contest time!  Post your favorite character of mine (not just from Fae Eye) and why you like them in the comments, and you’ll win a copy of What Not to Fear AND a copy of the aforementioned super secret project song as soon as both are available!

Breaking Down (with Robert Roman)

Nope, I’m not going to talk about the succession of automobiles I owned in college. I mean, I could, but then Val would get upset at me for doubling the overall amount of text on the DDD site. Seriously, I had more than I can count on both hands. That may have been due to the fact that I paid less than $1000 for all of them put together when you include the two that I was paid to get rid of, but I still went through a lot of them. From that I learned that cheap cars break down a lot and that I’m not meant to be a mechanic.

But that’s not what I’m here to talk about today. I’m here to ramble on* about writing, specifically about character development. I’m not sure how anyone else does it. I’m really not sure how you’re supposed to do it. My degree is in biology, not literature. OK, I took some honors Lit courses down in Florida, but that’s not what I got my degree in. Anyhow, anyone who knows me very well knows I tend to analyze things. The technical term is reductionism. As the Ur-Goth or PJ or Dana will tell you, I love to take things apart to see how they work. Don’t think about that too much in conjunction with my degree.

Moving on, a lot of people don’t realize this now, but I was a complete social misfit as a kid. A Compleat Social Pariah, if you will. Now, some of that had to do with physical characteristics. I was short, I was a touch doughy, I wore BCDs, and I had… rather different coloration… from the rest of my schoolmates. I got teased about all of those, but I’ve come to realize that a lot of it had nothing to do with those. It had to do with having NO intuitive understanding of how people interact. I said or did things with the best of intentions, but they still came out wrong. Occasionally I missed blindingly obvious social clues. I’ve got some funny stories about those. I’ll even tell them to you if you get me drunk enough**. If you’ve ever watched Bones, picture a fourteen year old blond Zack Addy and you’ve pretty much got it.

Now, I still don’t have an intuitive feel for the way people interact. What I have done, however, is gotten better at puzzling out why they act the way they do. Some of that I’ve learned from listening to advice. A lot of it I’ve learned from not listening to advice and seeing what happened. Still more I’ve learned from carefully observing the behaviors of people who do seem to have a knack for dealing with people. Finally, I’ve found others who take the same approach I do, albeit with wildly differing goals.

I was going to link to some blogs I read with that last bit, but then I regained my gorram sanity. A more misanthropic bunch you’ll rarely find. What’s odd is that while I learned an enormous amount about how to interact with people from those blogs, and the blog owners themselves seem to have become misanthropic by gaining the knowledge they have, I became less misanthropic when I acquired it.

OK, I kinda like the word ‘misanthropic’. It’s got some weight to it. You can batter someone about with it, but it’s not as clumsy as ‘bastard’, nor does it set off spell check like ‘warthogging vomitous mass’. It’s sort of the ASP extendible baton of the English language.

All that said, when I’m putting together characters, I go looking for what makes them tick. I trot out their wants, their needs, their history and their plans. What I find most interesting is what brings characters to life. It’s not the virtues. Those are nice, and every good Hero or Heroine should have one or two, but the vices… Ah, the vices. Those are what bring a character screaming into this world. Right now I’m reading Twilight... What? I had to see what the fuss was about. Anyhow, I’m reading Twilight and I realize why I couldn’t bring myself to watch the second movie. In the book, both Bella and Edward have reasonable, realistic vices. OK, they’re shabby and plain next to their virtues, but they have them. Movie version? Not so much.

Not only that, but some of the best scenes in fiction are the ones where a character either overcomes or succumbs to their vices. Character development is rarely about virtue. I mean, really. What can you do with virtue? It’s about vice. That’s why we love the villain so much, and why antiheroes have such appeal. It’s even, dare I say it… Who am I kidding? I’ll say just about anything that comes to mind. It’s even a big part of the appeal of the bad boy archetype.

So… yeah. I tear stuff apart, see how it ticks, and come out of it with antiheroes. Now if only I could put one together with the appeal of Jaime Lannister or Havelock Vetinari….

If you’ve been amused or entertained by what you read here, come visit my site or go take a look at my books! I’ve got a selection of styles to choose from.

*I DID say ramble on, now, didn’t I?

**I’m not a cheap drunk, but I’m pretty narcissistic. One strong gin sour will probably do it.

Just the Facts Friday ~ Robert Roman's secrets revealed!

Bet you didn't know THIS about Robert Roman!

- took nearly five years of karate lessons as a kid

- wanted to get into the military (tried THREE times) but my eyes weren't good enough

- love "Mission to Marzipan" ice cream, can't stand
marzipan

- forget that last fact at least once a year and buy marzipan

- will do things both terrible and wonderful for a sufficient
quantity of tiramisu or baklava

- is dieting (lost 45 pounds so far) and is thus food-obsessed

- is lying about the connection between the two last facts, but not the facts themselves

- connects writing with cooking and sex, but reading only with eating

- has no sense of enormity

10Q Tuesday with Robert Roman

10 Things you Never Knew about Robert Roman!

1. Tell us about your current release

No. I want to tell you about my NEXT release. 'Cause I'm just annoying that way. My next release is going to be the sequel to The Strange Fate of Capricious Jones, which is A Christmas Vigil. Strange Fate is two stories which intertwine at the end, one of Capricious Jones, another of Leigh Abrams. Both are back in Christmas Vigil. I got the idea for the story when someone (who shall remain nameless) said they wanted to see SteamPunk Christmas stories or Military Romance stories. The chaos inside my head took those two ideas in, spun them about, and added in cyborg zombies and mecha on skateboards.

So. My next release (as soon as I convince someone to release it) is going to be a Steam Punk Christmas Military Romance with Cyborg Zombies.

Steam Punk Cyborg Zombies. Skateboarding Mecha. Military Romance. You know you wanna read it. Morbid fascination will do that.

2. When in the day/night do you write? How long per day?

I write a few times a day. Occasionally I'll write during lunch at work. Sometimes I'll write when I get home from work. I usually write after the kids are in bed. On a good day, I get around three hours in. On a bad day, I only get a few minutes. I'm lucky though; the time I do spend writing is typically pretty productive. I can write about 1000 words an hour, double that when I'm really on a roll.

3. If you could spend the night anywhere, where would it be?

Y'know, it's not as much about where you are as who you're with. That said, anywhere as long as the Ur-Goth is there.

4. Plotter or Pantser? Why?

I'm gonna be annoying again and quote Forrest Gump. 'I think maybe both'. I plot things out, but I'm always ready to chuck big chunks of what I've prepared. It's for that reason I rarely write my plotting down. I plot back to front, work out my characters, then start at the front and set them loose. I typically wind up with at least one character becoming something they weren't intended to be, and they and the story usually work out better for it.

5. Do you use a pen name? If so, how did you come up with it?

Nope. I use my middle initial, which I don't use much, but that's because my name without the initial was being squatted on, so I used www.robertcroman.com instead. So going forward I'll be listed as Robert C Roman.

6. What was the scariest moment of your life?

The night my son had a fever that spiked up over 102 degrees. That scared me. Other than that? Very few things have scared me in the 'I'm still scared about it later' sense. I'm a pretty phlegmatic person.

7. What would we find under your bed?

A box with the cradle my sons first slept in, disassembled and ready to be shipped to the first son /nephew / neice happens to spawn and want / need a cradle.

8. Morning Person? Or Night Person? How do you know?

Night person. When I'm able to set my own hours, I sleep from 8 AM to Noon, or thereabouts. I create through the night and do chores in the early afternoon.

9. What group did you hang out with in high school?

The miscellaneous geeks and nerds, although that's a little narrow. Most of my time was spent socializing with my High School's computer geeks, who were programming in BASIC on VIC20s and Commodore 64s. There was one art geek, one generalized nerd, and me; I was too gorram smart and too unsocialized for my own good. Think Zack Addy from Bones. Without the killing people part.

I ate lunch one year with the field hockey team, and another year with a couple of the special ed kids. My senior year I ate at the mall, because I had a half-day schedule, 'cause I was just cool like that.

10. Beatles or Monkees? Why?

Really, really, really tough choice there. I shall one final time be annoying and say AC/DC. I cannot abide camp, and the only thing that might drive me to accepting camp is that which it feeds on, pretentiousness. The Monkees are campy, the Beatles (except very early on) tended to be pretentious. AC/DC just rocks until their lead singer rocks himself to death, at which point they find random walk-ons who, infected with the AC/DC nature, rock as well.