Years ago, when in a relationship that didn’t allow me to shine in my best light, I began to wonder whether true love was a figment of people’s imagination. Back then, I only read horror. It matched my way of thinking—the heroines always met a nasty end, her life was worthless, and her being killed wasn’t going to make much of an impact on those around her. That was what I had become, how I had come to think of myself. Towards the end of the relationship, though, I began to imagine the perfect man—someone who would treat me properly, with respect, and I’d be his sole reason for living. I scoffed at my own thoughts—no such man existed, in my eyes—but those imaginings got me through. Based on this idea, I wrote a free short story the other week, where a man does much the same as I did. He imagines his perfect woman, except in his story, she becomes real.
Luckily for me, my own figment lover appeared in reality just after I split with my ex-husband. I have a man who, for the past ten years, has treated me as though I am his sole reason for living. Oddly, I now read romance, reinforcing the fact that true love does exists, those heroes in books exist.
My free book, Figment, which you can download HERE, has a similar theme to Just For Tonight, my book with Decadent publishing. I’m a fan of being able to write what I want to without having to explain everything. Kind of “It’s my world, so what happens is because I want it to, and it doesn’t necessarily mirror real life where this wouldn’t really happen or that really can’t happen.” It just happens…because it does. Thankfully, Decadent didn’t expect me to change that. I’ll always be grateful for it, because for years I was suppressed, told what to do, so to find a publisher who accepted my creativity for what it was made me smile. In Figment and Just For Tonight, the lovers are from other worlds. The reason for this is now clear to me—I was exploring what I’d previously thought, that true love only existed in the mind or a fairy-tale-like scenario, where the lover was from a different world. Of course, I now know that isn’t true, but if you read both books, you’ll need to suspend your belief for a few seconds. It isn’t clear where the lovers come from or how they got to Earth. All that matters is that they’re there, for the person needing love. Please indulge me when reading—let me tell you my tales without having to have a reason for the people’s existence, because sometimes, just sometimes, the fact that they are there is enough. I hope it’s enough for you too!
I wish everyone had their knight in shining armour, or their princess. I wish no one had to go through ugly battles, hiding who they truly are through fear of ridicule. I wish many things, all good, all so everyone feels loved and cherished throughout their lives, but I’m a realist who knows this can’t always be so. Still, I have my writing now—something I abandoned in the dark years—and if I can give my heroines and heroes a happy-ever-after, it helps. An author has a gift, not only with the writing, but the ability to give people hope. I’ve always said that if only one person read every romance book I’ve written and it gave them the warm fuzzies and, above all, hope, or the courage to reach out for what they want, then it’s worth it. Just one person, a person who I would never have been able to touch at all if it wasn’t for the internet and the way publishing is today. It’s an amazing thing, something an author ought to treasure and be in awe of—that ability to touch and affect.
May your lives be filled with love and happiness, may you find your princess or knight if you haven’t already, but most of all, may you believe in yourself, love yourself. That was the lesson my now-husband taught me. You can be who you really are inside, and if you feel you can’t due to outside influences and what other people say or think, then you need to remove yourself from those people and influences. I know it’s difficult, believe me I do, but it can be done. And if it can’t right at this moment, imagine your perfect partner, bring him or her into existence in your mind, and fly free with them. One day, they might well appear for real.
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You can find all my “selfs” here: www.emmyellis.com