Between a Rock and a Blank Page

by Wendy Burke

I’ve been stuck, stuck between knowing what the story is and fighting to get it on a page.

The One He Chose and Haste Ye Back practically wrote themselves—two stories which came easily to me.  

The frame of my next story in the 1NightStand series is complete, the rooms are well established and the plumbing is roughed in. But, I’m having a heck of a time tacking up the drywall and picking out paint colors. That’s where my BWFF (best writing friend forever) comes in. In my case, it’s Decadent Publishing’s own, Deanna Wadsworth.

Recently she pulled up to my ramshackle story and tossed her toolbox on its wobbly porch. She extracted from that beat up toolbox, a quote: ‘Your intuition knows what to write, so get out of the way.’ Brilliant words from Ray Bradbury.

Once I read that, something shook loose in my head and now I know where I’m going. Before, I was trying to force my character into something that she a) didn’t want to do and b) wasn’t really her character.

Some of my writing friends would say ‘You wouldn’t have that problem if you had an outline.’

An outline? OUTRAGEOUS!

I’m a pantster through and through. An outline to me is like walking the fence line of a perfectly square pasture. Writing by the seat of my pants, though, is like having walking stick in hand, my hiking boots firmly laced, wandering the path of gorgeous woods. A fork in the road—I’ll let the characters decide which way to go!

Maybe that philosophy has gotten me behind on occasion—maybe it sometimes leaves me frustrated to the point of tossing my hands in the air and yelling at the ceiling, ‘Why the HELL am I even doing this! I suck!’

Then Deanna tosses a rope around my neck and drags me in from the proverbial ledge. She’s very insistent that way!

But, I don’t think I could write any other way!

So, now my contribution of the sixth of the six (well, okay, possibly seven!) 1NS stories with overlapping characters that Deanna and I are penning together is less ADD (oh look, a squirrel!) And regardless of the absence of an outline, has a bit more focus—to the point of changing the character’s premise for her 1NS and the title of the story. (Sorry, neither of which I’m going to divulge here!) And in my mind’s eye, I can even see the cover—well, sort of—and it looks for starters a bit like this. Hey, c’mon—it’s a start!

And for that forgotten premise, not to worry, it will be used another time. The title, well, I’ll save it—toss it in my writing ‘garage’ so to speak, and haul it down from the rafters when I need it. Hopefully, that’ll be very soon!

If you’re wondering what Deanna and I have been doing together in the writing realm, well look below. Six, 1NS stories which—although each stands alone in its own right—have characters which appear in more than one installment!  Read the separately, or for full effect, in the order as shown below.

Wendy Burke is a displaced Cheesehead, proud to have been born and bred in Wisconsin. She was a migrant worker for years in radio, until she landed in Ohio and refused to leave. When not playing with the people in her head, she’s a television newsroom assignment manager. She shares her perpetually dusty house with her adorable chef husband and two spoiled feline children. You can holler at her at-- wendyburke1994@bex.net.

The Perks of Working With Madame Eve

by L.C. Dean & Deanna Wadsworth


Today we have two of Castillo Resorts employees, hotel manager Jagger Castillo and head concierge Martin Baird. They are going to give us a little insight on what it’s like taking care of a special customer: Madame Eve. For those of you who do not know, Madame Eve runs 1Night Stand, a service where people can engage in a fantasy one night stand encounter. She has chosen to use the Castillo Resorts and their fabulous hotels around the world as the settings for her special clients.

Now Jagger, as hotel manager of the Turks and Caicos Castillo Resort, tell us what you do for Madame Eve and her clients?

JAGGER: Pretty much anything Eve wants. (chuckle) She’s a mystery and a hard one to say no to. Somehow she convinces me to set up situations that I would never consider without her. If she weren’t so damned successful, I might hesitate to fulfill her wilder requests, but my partner and I are proof that she knows what she’s doing.

And Martin, what do you do for these clients?

MARTIN: I am a head concierge for the hotel, and since Madame Eve’s 1Night Stand service specializes in fantasy encounters, I do the actual labor of setting up the exotic rooms, romantic cottages, and gourmet dinners for her clients per her detailed instructions. I assisted Jagger in Grand Turk for a month with some of these clients, but I have worked at other Castillo Resorts as well.

You both sound like you have exciting jobs. Seeing all these happy 1Night Stand couples, how did you feel about your own romantic lives?

MARTIN: Well, I always suspected Madame Eve knew a little more than she should about things. Never once have I seen a disappointed couple. It’s like they were all soul mates and Madame Eve was some sort of supernatural matchmaker. Ridiculous, right? But I would be lying if I didn’t admit I thought they were lucky bastards. Wouldn’t you agree, Jagger?

JAGGER: Yeah. At least I do now. Before Daniel came along, I sort of scoffed at how satisfied everyone seemed with 1Night Stand. Heck Eve even set up my brother and his wife, but I still didn’t really believe ( To Feel Again by Valerie Mann). Madame Eve arranged my date as a thank you gift when Daniel’s request came in. Apparently, she realized that we were perfect for each other. Not sure how she knew what I wanted when I rarely admitted it, even to myself, but she did. (L.C. Dean told our story in  Mountain Claiming )

The reason we have you two together today, is that Madame Eve secretly slipped a little romance into your lives. Tell us about it.

JAGGER: She caught me off guard so I fought the date in the beginning, but I’m very glad I gave in. Once I saw the handsome mountain of a man she sent my way there was no turning back. Daniel was a gift that I will never cease to appreciate. 

MARTIN: I should admit she definitely blindsided me, too. One of the loveliest accidents if I do say so myself. Even Jagger was in on it.

JAGGER: Helping to set Martin up was a blast. He worries so much about his job that it felt good to see him find someone to break down his barriers and encourage him to let go a bit. 

MARTIN: (blushes)Yes, well, as I said, I was working at the Turks and Caicos resort, and decided to add a holiday on the end of my stay. Jagger asked me to sample some new menu ideas, have a few drinks. So I went to the cabana and ordered. I had no idea the drink I ordered would change my life. I met a handsome American man, we shared that drink then he told me we were going on a date that night. I just agreed. (laughing nervously) I had to be insane, right? I didn’t even know him. I certainly didn’t hire Madame Eve to send me a date either.

So you went with this stranger even though you didn’t know him?

MARTIN: If you saw Garret, you would understand. He’s sexy, gorgeous, and confident.  A man you don’t say ‘no’ to. And strangely, I just trusted him, completely. It sounds daft, right? But I went and well.... Let me just tell you, it was the best night of my life. Madame Eve doesn’t make mistakes.

Jagger, what are you and Daniel up to now?

JAGGER: Daniel is the event coordinator at the resort, so we work closely together. I swear he’s almost as magical as Eve some days. He encourages people to try things they would never consider with just his smile. (blushing) Okay, I might be a little biased.

Currently, we are in the final stages of adopting three girls who lost their entire family during the earthquake in Haiti. Mimi is eight, Smala almost six, and Tchina three. We started the process a few months after we became an official couple. We don’t know how soon we’ll get the girls. It could be a while yet, but we are hopeful that they’ll be with us this year. An instant family sounds scary some days, but I’ll do whatever it takes to ensure our girls are never afraid or hungry again. We have flown to Haiti to spend time with them twice now and can’t wait to do it again in a few weeks. The older girls labeled us Papa D and Papa J. Tchina struggles with speech at this point so she calls us Pa See and Pa Say, which is fairly apt. My Dan is a man of few words but he misses nothing.

Martin, where has life taken you and Garret?

MARTIN: Well, I’m not doing anything as exciting as Jagger and Daniel, but I did move to the states to live with Garret. We live in Detroit with our three cats. I think for now they are all the children we can take (laughs). They sort of rule the roost in our home.

I still work for Castillo Resorts, traveling to help with Madame Eve’s clients and other important guests. I feel like I have the best of both worlds. I get to travel the world and help other couples find love like I did, via Madame Eve, and I get to spend all my spare time with Garret. Sometimes I work a bit in the sport’s bar he runs with his brothers, The Fourth Base. We have a good time and I’m even learning the rules for American football. It’s rather fun, actually.

Like me, Garret loves to travel and we just got back from a trip to my homeland, Scotland. We visited my family and all my old stomping grounds. You can catch up with us on that trip in another 1Night Stand story by Wendy Burke,  Haste Ye Back. 

JAGGER. Let me say before we go that I hope to see some of you at the resort in the near future. It’s always a good day to lie in the sun, and I can guarantee you’ll have a blast, especially if you put your trust in Madame Eve. 

Bacon Lube...?

by Wendy Burke

Aston Martin Vanquish-$228,000

It's amazing what companies think will sell! But then again, during this time of the year, novelty gifts are almost more endearing than a nice multi-carat diamond necklace in a velvet box or a dusty silver Aston Martin Vanquish in your driveway.

  

My 'real job' is that of a TV newsroom assignment manager and recently a news release popped into my 'inbox.' Don't know if this company is absolutely serious or if the owners think this is the perfect time to unveil this product, but undoubtedly it will sell.  So, don't be surprised if you see some BACON LUBE in your naughty stocking this Christmas. 

Now, I'm not endorsing this product, I've not tried it, and I don't believe I will, but darn it, it sure does lend itself to finding a way into a 1NightStand story!

Baconlube comes from the porky and quirky company of J & D Foods in Seattle, Washington. I've had their BaconPop (popcorn)--it was marginal. Among the company's items-bacon-flavored lip balm, bacon salt, baconnaise, bacon gravy, bacon croutons and the odd man out, ketchup salt.

The news release touts--'You’ve always been a lover of bacon.  Now you can be a bacon lover with baconlube, the world’s first bacon-flavored massage oil and personal lubricant.  No more horrifying bedroom experiments with bacon grease just hot oily bacon-y good times.'

You know, using animal fat as a personal lubricant never really struck me as something I would do...but...J & D's release goes on to say - '...we have one small admission to make - baconlube began as an elaborate April Fool's prank and was never intended to be a real product.  When the joke ended, the emails kept coming and coming and coming.  People harassed us via email, in public and in highly inappropriate ways (thanks for that).  The baconlube waiting list grew to thousands of people!  Expectations were built, we had to deliver.'

Thankfully, J & D, '...make no judgments about why people want this or what they want to do with it, but baconlube is here, it's real and available now just in time for the holidays.Supplies are very limited.  Keep It Sizzlin'.'

On the up and up, I did not get a sample of baconlube nor am I being paid or endorsing this product. At the same time, You're Welcome! that I have given you the idea for the best novelty Christmas gift ever!

Keep it slippery, friends! 

Wendy currently has two works on the Decadent Publishing shelves, is in the final stages of a a third (Haste Ye Back) and is in the process of writing 274 more which she hopes DP will like! Find her on Facebook, Twitter and lurking about the internet. When not playing with the people in her head, she has a full-time job in television news and a silly life with her way-too-cute chef husband and two furry feline kids in the Great Lakes region of the Midwest.

The PASS

by Wendy Burke

C'mon, you know what you know what the PASS is! Don't deny it. Although probably not discussed aloud between a married couple, YOU and your significant other have a list--a list of folks with whom your mate would 'give you a pass.'

The PASS came up on conversation at my workplace the other day, and the gals insisted there had to be at least a Top Five.

So, here's my Top Five PASS list--yes, approved by the man I've been married to for almost 20 years. (Believe that if you will...)

PASS #1: If you've read my posts, you know I have a thing for Russell Crowe. (A terrible, horrendous, incurable thing...) As a matter of fact, this very photo was the 'model' for the hero in my latest 1NightStand story, Haste Ye Back. And, yes, if Russell Ira showed up on my doorstep, the huz would willingly (don't know if that's a good thing) give me 'a pass' for him.

 PASS #2 : Another good-looker whose movies I rarely miss. And, twice I've gotten a 'two-fer' with Russell and Denzel Washington in Virtuosity and American Gangster.

Trace Adkins                    Sean Casey

PASS #3: Toss up between country-star Trace Adkins and former major league first baseman Sean Casey--both who made 'model' appearances in recent Decadent Publishing works.

Author Brad Thor

PASS #4: Author Brad Thor. But because I respect the man so much,  my 'pass' would probably be limited to picking his brain about thrill writing and character development and maybe a bit of harassment about not allowing his Scot Harvath character to settle down and finally 'get some.' (Of course, then my dear huz would butt in and want to talk terrorism and politics.) Still, in my opinion a worthwhile PASS!

Catcher Brad Ausmus

PASS #5: Is a staple on my list and has been for quite some time. Yes, another baseball player. Former San Diego Padre, Detroit Tiger and Houston Astro Brad Ausmus. I took this photo in April 2005, best piece of photography work I've done--ever.

Robert Irvine        Gordon Ramsay

HONORABLE MENTIONS: Chefs Robert Irvine and Gordon Ramsay--okay, so I have a thing for Brits who can cook! Although, this time around I would lose them to my chef husband for a dice-off! (At this point, insert bad pun, a quote from my mother- Wendy, you have all your taste in your mouth!)

So, my dear Decadent friends--agree, disagree, come up with your own, but this is my PASS list! Happy contemplating!

Dara England designs the most beautiful covers!

Wendy currently has two works on the Decadent Publishing shelves, is in the final stages of a a third (Haste Ye Back) and is in the process of writing 274 more stories which she hopes DP will be interested in! Find her on Facebook, Twitter and lurking about the internet. You could send her a nasty email-wendyburke1994@bex.net. When not playing with the people in her head, she has a full-time job in television news and a silly life with her way-too-cute chef husband and two furry feline kids in the Great Lakes region of the Midwest.

A Thoughtful, Thankful and Thirsty Thursday

I was thinking about how I was going to work my latest contracted book with Decadent Publishing into Thoughtful, Thankful and Thirsty Thursday, (this list may be out of order!)

but then again, the 3-Ts kind of lent themselves to the topic without any real struggle.

Scotland=inspiring scenery!

HASTE YE BACK is my third work with Decadent. This 1NightStand story is number four of six with overlapping characters that fellow-DPer, Deanna Wadsworth and I are penning. So, if you've been keeping score on that front, although the stories stand alone in their own right, Deanna's BEAR IT ALL started the half-dozen, followed by my THE ONE HE CHOSE. You'll be able to read her ACCIDENTALLY BEAUTIFUL soon, to be followed by HASTE YE BACK. You're going to have to wait a bit to find out what the last two titles are (because we don't even know them yet!)

So, without further delay---the 3Ts and HASTE YE BACK.

Loch Lomond, I do miss you!

I was THOUGHTFUL about this story the moment I sat down on a fallen log along Loch Lomond in late July 2007. It was a lovely afternoon and I was with my 'Scottish family,' visiting them after 30 years of mail correspondence with Shelagh--wife to George and mum to Jamie and Grant. A full-length version of HASTE YE BACK formed in my head--it's since been shaved down to a 1NightStand length story, but the tale presented itself insistently and immediately. 

My Scottish family-Shelagh, Jamie, Grant and George.

 I'm THANKFUL, of course, for all those years of friendship. Shelagh was a bit concerned, wondering if we'd 'get on well' during our vacation. We'd never met in person, but had corresponded for 30+ years. But, we fit right in! Some of the best times were our hosts 'correcting' us when it came to verbiage: we stowed stuff in the boot, got in a queue at bus stop, ordered aubergine instead of eggplant, and NEVER poured ANYTHING into Scotch!  That whole 'left side of the road' being 'right,' really threw me off, however!

Now I'm THIRSTY for a return trip--complete with another fine Scottish meal of haggis, neeps and tatties, accompanied by some Famous Grouse. Or some tasty fish and chips with an ice cold Irn-Bru!

So, I hold my Scottish family responsible for this story--in a good way, of course.  I'm honored for all those years of friendship, finally being able to meet them, hug them, and enjoy their company. I'm sincerely hoping to HASTE YE BACK soon!

Wendy currently has two works on the Decadent Publishing shelves, is working on a third (Haste Ye Back) and is in the process of writing 274 more stories which she hopes DP will be interested in! Find her on Facebook, Twitter and lurking about the internet. You could send her a nasty email-wendyburke1994@bex.net. When not playing with the people in her head, she has silly life with her way-too-cute chef husband and two furry feline kids in the Great Lakes area of the Midwest.