Sunday, December 29, 2013

Ever Wonder Why People Pucker up Under a Parasite?

By Arlene Webb
Norse mythology has a lot to do with the tradition of kissing beneath a plant that sucks the life from other plants. They say the god Baldur, a.k.a. Baldar, suddenly turned paranoid and alas, without shrinks and modern day meds, the poor guy became more and more unhinged. He was convinced all (yes, all. Not just bears and poison ivy) the plants and animals on Earth wished him dead, so his mother and wife negotiated with what they thought was every living thing to leave Baldur alone.

Unfortunately, mistletoe was the one plant the women in Baldar’s life overlooked, and the god was killed with an arrow made from the plant. Then, too late for Baldar, they figured out Mistletoe has a downfall and a sword made of gold will kill it.

Like all traditions that don’t need logic to start a trend, people began feeling obligated to kiss beneath a clump of Mistletoe. Perhaps to pay respect to deadly things that never should be left off the negotiating-good-will list or to sword-makers who like working with quality metals such as gold.

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I had a lot of fun using this info to shape TakingDown Mistletoe, but, like all of the best romances, I twisted ‘facts’ to give my hero, Alek Baldar, a happy ending. I also introduced a love interest who has nothing to do with Norse myths and everything to do with vampire ones. Obviously when dealing with suckers, an expert related to Van Helsing (guy who dealt with Bram Stroker’s Dracula) gets a role.

Here’s the blub for Taking Down Mistletoe:

Parties everywhere, but Alek—security and all-around handy guy—is stuck at work in the department store taking down the holiday decorations. Just when he thinks he’ll escape in time for a little celebrating, fate takes a deadly turn. A thirsty leech doesn’t mind going down, as long as Alek joins him.

Tired of sucking on candy canes, Loki is sick of the tall security guard ignoring him. He’s determined, one way or another, that Alek will find himself lying flat. Unfortunately, a man dressed in black enters the scene and interrupts him.

When the parasite-exterminator, in the form of a dark, handsome hunk, arrives and latches onto Alex, things go from weird to downright bizarre. Did Alek really find love under the mistletoe, or has something beyond sinister taken hold of him?

    Jesus Christ. With one look, I’ve gone psychotic? Alek knew his body was in a store, standing toe to toe with a strange man a decade older than him, but it sure felt like he lay, nude, on his back beside a forest stream. In a green world, fat emerald flakes of snow fell from a turquoise sky. Trees clustered with jade leaves with solid mosses blotched along their trunks grew alongside a bubbling stream of green waters.   Where oh where had reality gone? And, more important, should he care? Everything was so surreal, beautiful beyond imagination. And then, it got even better. The deepest green eyes came closer and closer. Pure joy would escape from Alex’s mouth, if only he could draw air.
    The man sighed. He snapped his fingers at Alek, stepped back, and lowered his gaze. Alek shook his head. The vision shattered. A zillion sparkling dots of emerald exploded into invisible dust around him.
    He’d never dropped acid, snorted coke, done any hallucinogenic drug, but Alek certainly felt like he was tripping now. In a two-second flash, the feel of the man dressed in black topping him, blanketing him from softly falling flakes of emerald snow, triggered in Alek the hardest and fastest erection any male could ever attempt to hide.
    Jesus, Mary, and Joseph. ’Tis the season, but what the hell had they put in the punch he hadn’t tasted?

There’s free e-copies of winner’s pick of my stories with Decadent going out to commentators chosen at random, so please leave your email address.

Best wishes for a wonderful 2014 to all,



Sunnymay said...

Wow! I never thought mistletoe and candy canes could cause so much trouble. Your stories are full of sass and spunk. Please include me in this drawing.
amwiden at aol dot com

Barbara Elsborg said...

I already read this - and love it. Fascinating post!!