Thursday, February 9, 2012

Some Myths Are Just Asking to be Retold

by Arlene Webb
When a ten breeds with a ten, unless mom’s a crack addict, genetics claims the kid should grow up to be 10 x 10, which adds up to one badass 100.

Take the most erotic, beautiful and irresistible XX (Aphrodite), and crossbreedwith the ultimate aggressive, powerful and virile XY (Ares), and yet, some damn silly Greeks and Romans dreamt up a XY-WIMP (Eros) for an offspring.
Sure, being the son of a love goddess and war mongrel could do some serious damage to your self-esteem, but a stunted dude(cute bare butt, but certainly nothing impressive on the front side) carrying a flimsy weapon and beaming such an angelic grin you either want to whip out an assault rifle or kick him?

Naturally, I assumed the bearer of true love is a lot more interesting than that and one lucky commentator will get a chance to check it out for themselves for free! Make sure you include your email address in your comment.

Here’s opening paragraphs for Arrow to the Heart:

February 12, 3:00 p.m.
“Bless me, Father, for I have sinned. My last confession was five…make that six kills ago.”

A deep sigh fell from Cu’s lips. “Cut the crap, Officer….” He glanced down at the
questionnaire the woman had filled out in his waiting room. Two angry words—Bite Me—were scrawled within the box marked NAME. “Officer Me. Perhaps I should use your first name, but Bite is not only common, it adds oral fixation to your list of problems.”

Cu looked across his desk through the one-way mirrored divider. Seated in front of him, unable to see him, the lanky blonde crossed lovely legs. Her skirt hitched above her knees. Large hazel eyes flashed with anger and he sighed again. She wasn’t happy to be there. Well, neither was he, and he had better things he could be doing than counsel a
trigger-happy nutjob.

“Whatever,” she said. “My nickname is ‘Screw You.’ ‘Up Yours’ works, too.”

He drummed his fingers on his desktop. “Until you put aside your low self-esteem and authority issues, and we get to why you’ve been suspended pending my signature, I’ll call you Miss Boring. Think you’re the first officer to resent that seat?”

Cu had PhDs in Psychology, Human Sexuality, Biochemistry, and Advanced
Medicine….
***
Speculative fiction, thinking what if is the foundation for every story I’ve written and it’s led me to some fun places. On this valentine, wouldn’t you rather buy a card with a picture on it as yummy as the dude on this book cover? Better yet, forget cards and give your valentine a story from my heart to yours.


  

22 comments:

Barbara Elsborg said...

Oh I love this story - it's funny and clever. I admit to being biased because I've read everything Arlene has ever written. She's great!!

Barbara Elsborg said...

Meant to add - what a great idea to buy a book instead of a card for your loved one! If only my loved one would think to do that for me!

Christy said...

Loved the cover and the excerpt! Too funny. You are such a sweetheart - a story from my heart to yours. I would love one of your books. christina_92 at yahoo.com

Arlene said...

Thank you, so much, for commenting Christy and Barb! I...sob...forgot I was up today until just now, 7pm and I'm home from a day of hell at work.

Unknown said...

Hehehe...you KNOW I'm a fan of your humor Dahlin'. Loved it. Give me sarcasm and attitude and color me happy. Congratulations! Did I mention the fab cover??

D L Jackson said...

OOOh, fun post, Arlene. Thanks for sharing. :)

Arlene said...

Karen!! You're such a sweetheart for stopping by. Thank you!

Gena Robertson said...

Omigosh, I bust out laughing at the excerpt! I absolutely love the cover of this book. It's gorgeous! And I would love a funny, hot and steamy read, considering my hubs is about as romantic as a bump on a log. His idea of romance is as Mrs. Doubtfire put it, "Effie, brace yourself." LOL! That's why I tend to love me LOTS of fictional boyfriends ;-)

Thanks for the laughs and the giveaway chance!

Gena Robertson
robertsongena@hotmail.com

Anonymous said...

All I can think of is that song "Shoot that poison arrow through my heaaaaaart!"

Fun stuff here.

Kate Richards said...

Very inspiring story!

Arlene said...

Thanks, Gena. The cover artists here at Decadent are sooo good. And thanks, Dawn, DP and Kate for stopping by. The support from you guys is awesome.

VS Morgan said...

Looks like a great story!

Lea Ann Finley said...

Hey Arlene sorry to be late but wanted to say that this is a fun one. Good luck with it.

steph beck said...

The cover makes man nips look moderately less ridiculous than normal :) congrats!
Stephanie beck
Www.stephaniebeck.net

Debbie Gould said...

Too funny, love the excerpt!

Kerry said...

hilarious! Thanks for sharing your excerpt--and yes, that is a HOT cover. lol
vail@mindspring.com

Unknown said...

Congrats Arlene! Awesome blurb, exquisite cover and I'm lovin' the alpha female, I enjoy writing kick ass heroine's with sarcasm and a gun lol. Good luck with sales, you might have just hit the nail on the head with the Valentine market & this dynamic! Awesome concept of retelling Roman and Greek myths. You're too funny!
I loved Gena's comment "Brace yourself Effie," lmao, brings me right to the scene and chuckling (hubby wasn't sure what to make of that and the graphic of cupid face down with an arrow in his back, he left the room shaking his head lol)

Jessica E. Subject said...

That is a fabulous intro Arlene! On my TBR. :)

Arlene said...

ha ha, love sending the husband from the room because of a dead cupid! I had alot of fun writing this one, and I appreciate all the comments!

JoAnne Kenrick said...

hehehe fab blog....and OMG just look at that cover, so YUMMY and valentinesy! I love it. Defo one for the to-read list :)

TBR said...

As always, Arlene, you grabbed me from the first sentence. Love the humor and of course, the sharp writing! Congrats on your release Arlene! May Cupid's arrows bring lots of sales. :)

Becky Moore said...

I love this post! And I can't wait to read this story!